shitty poetry

flood gates open or closed

god damn

one minute

and then the next

with mood

beyond shitty poetry

DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE

say the wrong thing at just that moment

TALK TALK TALK TALK

SAY EVERYTHING You"RE THINKING BECAuSE THEY CAN ALREADY SEE IT ON YOUR FACE.




shit is starting to get real. That's good and bad.

paintings will be killer
rrr
rr
r
r


rrr

rrrr

but everything else goes to shit

interpersonal relationships

health

beauty


sleep patterns

communication skills


my feet are cold

sacred spaces

they seem to know more
unaware of my affect
hard for me to take

ideas are there
but so hard to express them
clearly honestly

came to the art show
you trying to imagine
what this all feels like

as hard as you try
it just can't happen smoothly
my demons still lurk

your smell disgusts me
i cringe as you try to help
isn't that just sad?

"beep beep beep beep
who got the keys to the jeep?
VROOM" missy


it's not about you though
it's about me
i don't care what you think
actually not true.


Look a pretty thing
just a place to rest your eyes
behind them much more

zone out on the tree out the window
let your eyes focus there
your body is forgotten
just your head
that's all that matters
you're in.
so much happening up here
down there
so tired
always need to cry
it's welling
it hurts
then relief just as fast
sometimes
self medicate just to cope
but is it better than the alternative?
will i still feel?
will i still create?
when it hurts so bad i don't care
but afterward i see what is left behind

my real audience

what if everyone
becomes my real audience
instead of pretend

sure im a vulture
spit on meat in the trash can
yeah this is my life

grumpy like a bitch
you don't want to talk to me
but really i mean

why did i do that
gotta have an audience
cant just love yourself

Painting Reference

party

Portrait from an old photo by Sarah Refvem

Portrait from an old photograph by Sarah Refvem

Soft Pastel
28 by 42 inches
2011