Tragic Kingdom

too much of a show off to be a soul searcher

a body represents people
a face represents a person

she's talking but she isn't saying anything

the development of the gift of drawing

"Your blood colors my cheeks red"

stealing veggies from the urban garden

getting caught up in the cool kids game

losing sight of your own ideas

Thoughts on what makes art interesting to look at.

I guess in order for art to be interesting the viewer must be able to empathize with what the artist is attempting to bring to focus. This doesn't have to be terribly limiting, if you think about it in an abstract manor. It could mean that the artist paints abstract expressionist work, and they are trying to get you to feel a pure emotion, whether it be beauty, agitation, whatever. Or with conceptual art, it is more of an idea to empathize with. Conceptual art is capable of getting more complicated with specifically what the idea is that the viewer should relate to, such as a specific phrase in a jenny holzer piece, but it's really all about whether one can relate. bad art is just a thing that the viewer looks at, and it doesn't connect with the viewer beyond what it actually is physically. it speaks nothing. even the idea means nothing. I mean, it is possible for there to be a conceptual piece specifically talking about the work being about "nothing", but that still is something to empathize with beyond the work ACTUALLY not being about anything. Assuming the artist can pull it off.

Now beyond just the ability to allow the viewer to enter empathetically, I think each individual viewer has certain triggers that they specifically connect to more directly because of their aesthetic and life experiences. For example, I connect strongly with figurative painting over other forms of art, because I've spent time making that kind of work myself and I understand how difficult it is first hand, and also can see intricacy of empathetical thought behind brush strokes just from extended exposure and study of past art history. Just as when you meet a new person, hearing their back story helps you get to know them a little bit better and feel a stronger connection to them.

Certain imagery can be overdone, and will therefor lose its meaning from overexposure. For example, direct landscape or plant paintings, while i admit it is still possible to feel the intention behind this type of work, is rarely successful. Van gogh did it and it remains meaningful still. But I think his work because his flowers are almost like people. You don't see them as flowers as much as you see the artist himself projected through his flowers. This is one of my favorite things about painting, that no matter what a good painter does, behind the image you can see exactly how the artist felt while they were creating the work. Well I guess this is most obviously true to expressive artists, but I would argue that you could say the same to more technical painters such as Chuck Close. I haven't studied this type of work as must so I can't speak that in depth, but I imagine him to be a relatively obsessive compulsive man who has a very careful and specific method of approaching all elements of his life as he does his artwork.

I recently did yet another self portrait. This time it was made from collaged paper that I layered and allowed to curl and have some 3D elements to it. There seems to be some sort of stigma attached to making self portraits. I mean it isn't an unacceptable thing to do, and many artists throughout history have included them in their work, or even exclusively worked in self portraits. I feel like only doing self portraits is a little too self gratifying. I mean seriously. If painted correctly(whatever that means), anything can be a self portrait! Back to Van Goghs flowers, that could be considered a self portrait in a sense. As could any of his other paintings. He painted what he felt, and what you feel is an expression of the self. God knows why that means we have to look at hundreds of pictures of an artists face over and over again. Van Gogh had many fascinating self portraits, although I don't find them to be the most captivating of his work.

end rant i'm going back to bed.

shitty poetry

flood gates open or closed

god damn

one minute

and then the next

with mood

beyond shitty poetry

DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE

say the wrong thing at just that moment

TALK TALK TALK TALK

SAY EVERYTHING You"RE THINKING BECAuSE THEY CAN ALREADY SEE IT ON YOUR FACE.




shit is starting to get real. That's good and bad.

paintings will be killer
rrr
rr
r
r


rrr

rrrr

but everything else goes to shit

interpersonal relationships

health

beauty


sleep patterns

communication skills


my feet are cold

sacred spaces

they seem to know more
unaware of my affect
hard for me to take

ideas are there
but so hard to express them
clearly honestly

came to the art show
you trying to imagine
what this all feels like

as hard as you try
it just can't happen smoothly
my demons still lurk

your smell disgusts me
i cringe as you try to help
isn't that just sad?

"beep beep beep beep
who got the keys to the jeep?
VROOM" missy


it's not about you though
it's about me
i don't care what you think
actually not true.


Look a pretty thing
just a place to rest your eyes
behind them much more

zone out on the tree out the window
let your eyes focus there
your body is forgotten
just your head
that's all that matters
you're in.
so much happening up here
down there
so tired
always need to cry
it's welling
it hurts
then relief just as fast
sometimes
self medicate just to cope
but is it better than the alternative?
will i still feel?
will i still create?
when it hurts so bad i don't care
but afterward i see what is left behind

my real audience

what if everyone
becomes my real audience
instead of pretend

sure im a vulture
spit on meat in the trash can
yeah this is my life

grumpy like a bitch
you don't want to talk to me
but really i mean

why did i do that
gotta have an audience
cant just love yourself

Painting Reference