they seem to know more
unaware of my affect
hard for me to take
ideas are there
but so hard to express them
clearly honestly
came to the art show
you trying to imagine
what this all feels like
as hard as you try
it just can't happen smoothly
my demons still lurk
your smell disgusts me
i cringe as you try to help
isn't that just sad?
"beep beep beep beep
who got the keys to the jeep?
VROOM" missy
it's not about you though
it's about me
i don't care what you think
actually not true.
Look a pretty thing
just a place to rest your eyes
behind them much more
zone out on the tree out the window
let your eyes focus there
your body is forgotten
just your head
that's all that matters
you're in.
so much happening up here
down there
so tired
always need to cry
it's welling
it hurts
then relief just as fast
sometimes
self medicate just to cope
but is it better than the alternative?
will i still feel?
will i still create?
when it hurts so bad i don't care
but afterward i see what is left behind
