weird werdz and new artz

I was at the house, because my mom left to go somewhere. When I got there, my mom was had already arrived. Ella was really happy to see me. It was raining. I felt very happy. The kids looked bigger. Jasmine Speigel was there as the new babysitter. They had always been disapproving of me. I saw a little boy, and I asked him how old he was. I called him "dude". He said he was 1. I never figured out who he was.

Check out my new painting:

My Place
4ft by 5ft

If your skin is ugly or dumb, you can cure this condition with the following cure. Every morning before washing your horse, massage it gently with a pig that has been soaked overnight in a bowl full of warm 7up.

Recipe. Mix together some cherries and some meatloaf until the mixture becomes clear.

Her eyes are like two slimy pools of saliva.

Your greasy teeth.

I hope I made a brainwashing impression.

On the news she claimed her husband quickly gave her a fungus in the eye and a kick in the clavicle.

Fishes that must have cost 3 dollars.

It's the front page on YouTube, rather than the front page of the paper these days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ95z6ywcBY&feature=topvideos

Watch it.


I think Lady Gaga is creating contemporary art history. Our time will be remembered by her work. I was under the impression that America had forgotten about art and that the art scene is just a bunch of kids painting stick figures with stoney messages written next to them. (Not to say that there isn't beauty in that.) But then I realized that America is just treating art the same way he treats everything else. Television, media, product placement. Celebrity royalty. The true royalty ruling elite to the American people are the celebrities. Art as a method of money making. Other artists have used fame and money as an outlet for their art, but none as successfully as Lady Gaga. For example, Jeff Koons understood that in today's world, the art doesn't have to be beautiful. It doesn't matter what the fuck the art is, as long as it has a famous name behind it. It just needs to be something to buy and sell. For HUGE amounts of money I might add. Artists like Matthew Barney understand the idea of putting celebrity appeal behind their work. The artist must be a celebrity, as well as utilize celebrities from other realms such as Bjork or Beyonce. (is that cheap shot at the marriage of two amazing artists? (bjork and barney?? nahhh fuck it) The American people flock to celebrities. Celebritism. I made this word up just now, and it means the worship of all things celebrity. Actually I'm sure someone else has already made up that word.


I love how forward she is about sexuality within her music. The difference between her musical sexuality and other artists such as The Pussycat Dolls or any other nakey dancing music videos is that she is owning it and claiming it, rather than presenting it others as eye candy. To excite men, and to put envy in women. Honestly most men seem to fear Gaga rather than or as well as excite them. Women, for the most part, respect rather than envy her like they would most other pop stars. She is also a huge step toward openness to homosexuality, by forcing so many Americans to confront it in popular culture within her videos. People can't hide from it if it's on television and the internet all over the place. We accept what our role models teach us to accept.

America does support the arts, but they do so through the beautification of money making. Advertising has become an art. Put the ads within the art(product placement), and the art between the ads on televison. It all blends together smoothly and artistically. You come out of it effected in many ways, but at least it was art, beautiful, or interesting or colorful or scary or.....ettccc.

rant

Post high school I immediately entered art school at California College of the Arts. I had absolutely no time to evaluate my life, or gain any sort of perspective outside of the tiny protective bubble that had been my life up until the age of 18. Upon entering CCA, I began to broaden my understanding of the world. I met new kinds of people, and had my first real relationship. All the while, I was taking classes in order to hone my craft as a painter. I find it unfortunate that these two aspects of my life fell at the same time, although I still feel as though I gained a lot from my experiences. The problem was that I was too busy experiencing and trying to understand life to fully gain everything I could from the classes I was in.

After 3 years at CCA, for financial as well as personal reasons I moved to Eugene. Once I was away from my past relationship, my artistic community, and general mindset, I was able to better evaluate everything that had happened to me since high school. My last year in California was filled with a lot of negative emotions that didn't allow me to paint as freely as I know that I am able. That all changed once I moved. I live by myself now, which allows total freedom to paint and create whenever and howerever I chose. This is very important to me, because I need to feel very comfortable in my environment in order to create in my truest form. It is also nice for me to live in closer proximity to my family, as they are very important to me.

My first school term in Eugene (fall 2009) was really great, although I wasn't enrolled in any painting classes. I came back to a few old paintings that had been left stagnant for months. I felt incredibly inspired to create, and I knew that I was ready to take my painting to a new level. A lot of the teaching I had from previous teachers began to connect and make a lot more sense during this time. I drew multiple self portraits and began dabbling outside of the abstraction that had been my comfort for so many years.

Upon entering this intermediate painting class my goal was to further my exploration into figurative painting while still involving the textural, color based abstraction that I had spent so much time studying. With the help of my intructor as well as being in a new artistic environment, my development came smoothly and rapidly. I have been looking at lots of books from the library of artists that I admire. From these books I have been trying to understand problem solving techniques used by other artists, and applying those methods to my own work. Some of the artists that I have studied recently are Lucian Frued, Paul Cezanne, Mary Cassatt, Francis Bacon, and Pablo Picasso. Francis Bacon in particular has really influenced my work. He is a deeply twisted man, and his creation comes from a very dark place that I can relate to in a certain sense. I honestly feel that in order to create you need a motive behind it, and often times that motive can be a dark or troubled past or present mind.

As Francis Bacon said, "If you can talk about it, why paint it?" I agree completely. There are some things in this world that lack verbal expression, that can only be expressed visually and emotionally. My art is a direct expression and connection to the feelings inside me, which is what makes it so incredibly personal. What I need to focus on now is figuring out the best way to make my personal expression something that can be universally appreciated and understood.

Looking at past artistic statements I have written in an attempt to explain why I create, I realize more than ever how intent behind art can change so rapidly. All I know is that I need to paint, and without art I would feel very lost in this world without any purpose or stability. Our world is very scary and I am filled with very strong emotions. I am so lucky to have an outlet like painting. I think that everyone needs a way to express the feelings that they have inside of themselves. Without an outlet, people have no way to reflect upon what they are experiencing and can resort to unhealthy outlets such as drugs or alcohol abuse.

With the paintings I have been making lately I do not immediately understand what I am expressing until later in the process as it becomes more clear. For example, the painting that I recently completed titled "Two Sides", shows two redheaded women with abstracted faces. When I first saw the picture this painting is based on, I was immediately attracted to it and knew I had to paint it. I was not sure what about it appealed so much. As I painted, I realized that this painting expresses the two sides within one individual. The human and the manic. The rational and the irrational. The good and the evil. The light and the dark. Within both of these figures are elements of the other. There is a strong crossover between the two, as they are connected within one.

I am also finishing up a self portrait that is very expressive of my current state. I have been studying politics and continue to feel the burden that humanity has put on our planet. I feel that humans are a parasite on this earth, and while I do feel our people need to find an answer to the injustices we are facing, I also feel as though our time on earth may have worn out its welcome. We have destroyed all of our natural resources, and are killing out other species in order to better our own lives. Even in doing so, we are tainting our human connections with one other, by desensitising ourselves so much through money, media, diconnected forms of communication, and over population. My self portrait shows myself with the United States as my clothing. It is what I as a human represent. I represent this damage that our country has done to this world. We are a capitalist nation that is using and abusing its people so that a minute amount of the population can gain economic power and control. This mindset is being globalized. A change must happen.

Come in she said I'll give you shelter from the storm.

Spring is necessary after winter. Especially in Oregon. There is a general veil of depression covering all of the humans and plants and animals during winter here. It is dark, damp, and cold by 4:30 in the afternoon. When you don't get up until noon like me this is a problem. Then spring comes along and flowers bloom and a billion bikers come out of hibernation!

I have a turtle named Quincy Bigz. I love him with all of my heart. Here is a picture of sir quince. He likes to make sick jumps off his log. It's actually pretty impressive. You wouldn't think a box turtle would be nearly as adventurous as this little guy. He provides hours of entertainment for both of us.

Here is my most recent painting called The Twins.

Post Earth Biotech Induced Invasion Carrots.

After biotechnology got out of hand, nature reacted by ending the ways of life on earth as it was understood. There became a super species of carrot that was known as Post Earth Biotech Induced Invasion Carrots. Quickly, the earth was covered in these carrots! Nothing any scientist could concoct would destroy this super species that their gene splicing had lead to. They had created a monster. The carrots were deadly to the ingestion of humans, while a delicious super food to all other creatures. All the animals began to flourish, particularly rabbits, as the human rule quickly began to fade away. All other food sources started to lose nutrients, because they were a pale comparison to the Invasion Carrot super species. Since the only food source that existed for other animals were the carrots, they too became toxic to the humans. Humans started out by eating all the reserved canned foods they had saved and existed relatively well at first. Eventually food ran out. People turned back into animals, and began to hunt one another. Unfortunately, they were unable to work together to find a solution to this problem, and the blood lust and greed led to their quick demise as a race. The buildings were reclaimed by the earth. Green and blue was again the dominant color of this great land, rather than gray. As the first rain fell once the humans were destroyed, all the animals rejoiced. The worms were all out in the open, slithering in the wet soil. It would have sounded to human ears like a giant breath loosening from their communal chests since the humans had taken rule. Soon the carrots dwindled in number, though still providing strength to the animals as they began to re figure the earth post human. Once the carrot was no longer needed, it became scarce and is now considered extinct. Evolution continued as usual.

The end. (For humans, that is.)

televisiontastic

HI WORLD! Today I ate BK(burger king) oh my oh why! Also, I considered for a moment why our biotech world has become what it is. Modernity has caused our chaos. Fuck you industrial revolution. I mean, I wouldn't be able to post this fancy blog without the progression since the revolution, but I also wouldn't have to worry about global warming, out sourcing of jobs and a shitty economy, atomic bombs, and...television.

Television is America's main source of brainwashing. It's disgusting and addicting. I'm so glad I don't have a television in my apartment. Nevertheless, whenever I'm at my parent's house, the television is on all the time. I can't help but find myself in front of it, transfixed. It hurts. It makes me paint less. I don't even have the urge do anything productive. My mom and I were talking about why there are so many ads on television for erectile dysfunction. I think it's because all the people who need it are the ones who watch too much television. All their stimulation has washed away into the couch seat. As sexy as couch potatoes are, they aren't.

But.. speaking of, you know what is sexy? Grizzly Bear. So sexy. I guess this band is probably getting pretty popular post New Moon soundtrack, oh man. I'm listening to this band a lot these days. As well as Department Of Eagles, which is another project by Daniel Rossen from Grizzly Bear. Check out this video, which was directed by Marcel Dzama, a Canadian artist that I really appreciate. (But I have to say I'm more intrigued by Dzama's drawings, so look him up.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZAKjKC7Gho

Well, back to television. Like I said, brainwashing technique. The thing is, our entire life has been transformed into an outlet for advertisements. Clothing, benches, buses, grocery bags, etc.... I don't see why we need to accentuate that by choosing to watch the strongest source of said advertisements in all our free time. Even when my family is cooking dinner or playing scrabble we have the TV on in the background. The images are still going into our brains, therefore the ads are still subconsciously doing their jobs. With television in my life, I find myself eating more unhealthy foods and having weird cravings. These advertisers are definitely delving into some heavy psychologically altering techniques here.

Dear BK,

I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING CHEESE BURGER AND LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

Love, Sarah.

Oh, and also I don't care what you did, Tiger Woods. The same way I don't care what Bill Clinton did. As long as you are hitting balls or attempting to hold down the democratic fort, I'm chill. Do what you have to with your hoochies but stop telling me about it.

The moral of the story is, watch less television. Your brain will thank you.

Christmas or something.

I have a terrible habit of taking a nap at a terribly inopportune time of day, thus making it terribly difficult to sleep when the proper time comes. Terrible.

My family - those are the people with whom I will be spending my next two weeks. I kind of really like my family. Sometimes they can be assholes, but for the most part love love love. I feel bad for people who never had a positive familial influence in their life. It's nice to have that support.

Anyway,

Christmas. My family is technically Jewish on my mother's side. But..my mom still celebrates Christmas even post divorce. Truthfully, I don't think it particularly matters which holiday we are celebrating. My family is not religious, we just appreciate the holidays as a time of year to celebrate each other and maybe buy some stuff.

The capitalists get you whether you're a Jew or a Jesus freak. Or..if you're neither and just like pretty new things in the winter. To a certain extent, I'm okay with that. Christmas is what you make of it as an individual. I get a lot of pleasure out of thinking about very meaningful gifts to express my care for an individual. Sometimes that involves buying things, but mostly I try to create my gifts with my hands. It just seems so much more special that way. And if you're poor you don't have much of a choice anyway.

My dad is dating Scrooge, so they basically don't even celebrate Christmas. I find that very odd. Scrooge's birthday is on Christmas day which I imagine would be pretty annoying as a child. That doesn't mean you should pretend the holiday doesn't exist once you're a (young) adult, just because you're jealous of Jesus. IT'S JESUS' BIRTHDAY TOO MUTHA FUCKA. Can't ya'll sharezy the day?

It's sort of scary that corporations and ad campaigns rule our so called religious practices so much. I mean, this is supposed to be a highly sacred holiday, yet rarely is the focus shifted from explosive-buy-shit at-the-mall diarrhea. Yum. Separation of church and state? How about separation of church and corporations. Although, I guess that's sort of the same thing at this point. Can I get a "bailout"! WOOP WOOP?!


Until next time, texture.